The Seasonal Gallery

I asked the bear what his plans were for the winter.

He said he'd sleep on it.

Why did the baker move to a ski town?

He heard the slopes get fresh powder every morning.

How did my wife react to the mittens I gave her?

She was completely smitten.

What happened when the snowman kept his shop open into spring?

The whole business was liquidated.

I applied for a job at the sunscreen factory.

They told me to reapply in two hours.

Why can't my sandals ever pick a beach?

They keep flip-flopping.

Why did the bank approve my kid's lemonade stand for a loan?

Excellent liquidity.

Why does the oak tree lose its savings every fall?

They keep getting squirreled away.

Why was the apple orchard tour so exclusive?

Every apple was handpicked.

Why don't skeletons mind creepy stories?

Nothing gets under their skin.

How do pumpkins handle a software bug?

They release a patch.

Why couldn't the wishbone pick a side at dinner?

It was torn.

Why did the cranberry farmer fall behind schedule?

He got bogged down.

Why is gravy the most well-traveled dish at Thanksgiving?

It arrives in its own boat.

Why did the stuffing sign up for therapy?

It kept everything stuffed inside.

I planned to keep my birthday wish a secret this year.

Right up until I blew it.

Why is the piñata always the life of the party?

Every appearance is a smash hit.

Why do grammar teachers enjoy birthdays so much?

Every gift is present perfect.

Why does January never commit to its plans?

It always gets cold feet.

Why does the New Year's committee rehearse all through December?

Because at midnight, somebody has to drop the ball.