The Cafeteria

My sourdough insisted it was ready for the oven.

I said I'd need proof.

Why did the French pastry sail through airport customs?

It had nothing to éclair.

Why can't cafés keep secrets?

Everything leaks to the French press.

Why is tea such a good history teacher?

It's steeped in the past.

The Swiss cheese gave the detective an alibi.

It was full of holes.

How does gossip travel through a dairy?

Curd of mouth.

How did the garden end its feud with the butcher shop?

They squashed the beef.

Why was a police officer assigned to the vegetable garden?

Someone had to walk the beet.

Why don't they build submarines out of onions?

Too many leeks in that family.

What's the weather forecast for the herb garden?

Parsley cloudy with scattered chives.

How do mashed potatoes get to work in the morning?

They ride the gravy train.

How does a cucumber go professional?

Pickleball.

How did the new palace cook win over the king?

He curried flavor.

Why is the barbecue chef so hard to understand?

He's always speaking in tongs.

My colander tried to win the argument.

Its case just didn't hold water.

Did you hear about the fight between the oven and the fridge?

The oven got heated, but the fridge stayed cool.

The noodle shop bought a piano.

Now everybody plays Chopsticks.

Why are backyard chickens so full of fresh ideas?

They're free-range thinkers.

Our diner's prize egg just left for the restaurant across the street.

It got poached.

The cooking show saved its best spice episode for the very end.

What a season finale.