The Zoo Wing

Why did the bank hire my dog as a retirement advisor?

He's a master of the rollover.

Why are mother cats so calm in an emergency?

They never leave home without their kit.

Why does the whole pet shop look up to the hamster?

Around here, he's a pretty big wheel.

Why did the call center give the parrot a raise?

Nobody handles repeat business better.

Why is it impossible to fool a sheep?

You can't pull the wool over eyes that watched it grow.

Why did the goat give up on stand-up comedy?

He kept eating his best material.

How is the bull's new china shop doing?

Business is smashing.

Why won't the bear ever shut down his laptop?

He's a firm believer in hibernate mode.

Why are deer the most embarrassing parents at graduation?

They fawn over absolutely everything.

Why do bats never regret their life choices?

They only make sound decisions.

The garden club learned who was leaking its secrets.

There was a mole in the flowerbed.

Why will a crow never admit that it's wrong?

It refuses to eat crow.

Why did the judge toss out the owl's testimony?

It was pure hoo-say.

Why does the penguin win the sales award every winter?

Nobody works a cold call like she does.

Why did the phone company start hiring pigeons?

Generations of carrier experience.

Why do comedians refuse to book shows for crickets?

Even when the crowd goes wild, all you hear is crickets.

How did the moth end up with a career in art?

She was simply drawn to it.

How did the bees open a statue museum on a budget?

They supplied their own wax.

Why did the herring stop reading mystery novels?

He was tired of always playing the red herring.

Why did the crab lose the school debate?

He kept sidestepping every question.