The Garage

Why did the C-clamp get a solo in the garage choir?

It can hold a note longer than anyone.

Why does my ladder never miss a phone call?

It always picks up on the first rung.

Why did the circular saw lose the debate?

Every one of its arguments was circular.

Why is my workshop the calmest room in the house?

The sawhorses keep everything stable.

Why won't the other tools listen to the torque wrench anymore?

It's all torque and no action.

Why are bolts so popular on social media?

They post excellent threads.

Why doesn't the screw worry about getting home late from the workshop?

It always has a designated driver.

I wrote a book about painting your own house.

It's really just a primer.

How do drywall installers end all of their arguments?

They patch things up.

Where did all the scratches on my old dresser go?

They varnished.

Why did the faucet sign up for dance lessons?

It was born to tap.

How did the plumbing company find so many new hires?

They built a great pipeline.

Why is the wall socket the most emotionally healthy thing in my house?

It always has an outlet.

Why does the grass refuse to chat with my lawn mower?

Every conversation gets cut short.

Why did the sprinkler cancel on our picnic?

It took a rain check.

How did the neighborhood car club get organized?

They formed a steering committee.

Why did the transmission get hired on the spot?

It was willing to work any shift.

Why do my tires listen to the same songs over and over?

They love heavy rotation.

Why does my new car have such good hindsight?

It came with a backup camera.

How did I finally learn to drive a stick shift?

I read the manual.