Why did the C-clamp get a solo in the garage choir?
It can hold a note longer than anyone.
Exhibit № 1 · The Garage
The Garage
Tools, lawns, and cars. Measure twice, groan once. 20 original exhibits — tap a setup for its punchline.
Why does my ladder never miss a phone call?
It always picks up on the first rung.
Exhibit № 2 · The Garage
Why did the circular saw lose the debate?
Every one of its arguments was circular.
Exhibit № 3 · The Garage
Why is my workshop the calmest room in the house?
The sawhorses keep everything stable.
Exhibit № 4 · The Garage
Why won't the other tools listen to the torque wrench anymore?
It's all torque and no action.
Exhibit № 5 · The Garage
Why are bolts so popular on social media?
They post excellent threads.
Exhibit № 6 · The Garage
Why doesn't the screw worry about getting home late from the workshop?
It always has a designated driver.
Exhibit № 7 · The Garage
I finally wrote that book about painting your own house.
Honestly, it's just a primer.
Exhibit № 8 · The Garage
How do drywall installers end all of their arguments?
They patch things up.
Exhibit № 9 · The Garage
Where did all the scratches on my old dresser go?
They varnished.
Exhibit № 10 · The Garage
Why did the faucet sign up for dance lessons?
It was born to tap.
Exhibit № 11 · The Garage
How did the plumbing company find so many new hires?
They built a great pipeline.
Exhibit № 12 · The Garage
Why is the wall socket the most emotionally healthy thing in my house?
It always has an outlet.
Exhibit № 13 · The Garage
Why does the grass refuse to chat with my lawn mower?
Every conversation gets cut short.
Exhibit № 14 · The Garage
Why did the sprinkler cancel on our picnic?
It took a rain check.
Exhibit № 15 · The Garage
Why did the neighborhood car club finally get organized?
They formed a steering committee.
Exhibit № 16 · The Garage
Why did the transmission get hired on the spot?
It was willing to work any shift.
Exhibit № 17 · The Garage
Why do my tires listen to the same songs over and over?
They love heavy rotation.
Exhibit № 18 · The Garage
Why does my new car have such good hindsight?
It came with a backup camera.
Exhibit № 19 · The Garage
How did I finally learn to drive a stick shift?
I read the manual.
Exhibit № 20 · The Garage
More wings: The Classics Hall · The Cafeteria · The Zoo Wing · The Science Lab · The Office Wing · The School Wing · The Great Outdoors · The Seasonal Gallery